14/03

Akika says: To Go Or Not To Go

By Geisha Bar

I think everyone can relate to this one. The 11 stages of gig decision-making….when you’re (supposed to be) on a budget.

1. Get Facebook invite to wicked artist gig. Give yourself that talk about adulting and how vegetables are more important and stuff.

2. Forget about gig in blissful ignorance.

3. Two hours later, check Instagram. Number 1 hot babe / dude has posted a goofy selfie with caption “CAN’T WAIT FOR WICKED ARTIST GIG OMGG”.

4. Re-evaluate life choices. Briefly contemplate career change to oil mogul / investment banker / Mexican cartel. Abandon plan when you realise how little sleep each of these must get.

5. Console yourself with a piece of carrot (chocolate isn’t in the budget and carrot is so fitspo).

6. Three hours later, phone starts beeping and bopping as someone has the bright idea to start a group chat on the subject of convincing everyone to come to the gig. You tell yourself you’re immune to such psychological trickery and go back to your carrot.

7. Check Facebook. Number 1 hot babe / dude has now taken their enthusiasm cross-platform. You feel your resolve start to weaken.

8. You get a helpful message from your bestie “Hurry up and buy your ticket. You’ve only loved wicked artist since forever! Plus number 1 hot babe / dude is going. I hear they rate you.” Best friend apparently forgot your big speech 3 days ago about adulting and how vegetables are more important and stuff.

9. Just as you’re checking Instagram, email, one season on Netflix and Facebook before bed, you see the deal maker “Hurry, 20 tickets left!”

10. Curse Mark Zuckerberg, hot babes / dudes,  best friends and life choices….and go buy a ticket.

11. Think to yourself someone really needs to write “Yolo Noodles — 20 ways to eat 2 minute noodles when you’re living once”.