Ashton Agar you Poor Guy

By Geisha Bar

Lately everyone on Facebook has been going on and on about some guy called Ashton Agar, who has recently played cricket and done well, by the sounds of it. Hero worship is such a big thing in this country, particularly when it comes to sporting heroes. Seemingly people get extremely riled up about their favourite sports team – which is not something that I really understand, being that I have so much more fun stuff to think about than whether a sports team is winning or losing!

I feel sorry for this Ashton guy because now that he has played one great weekend of cricket, he is inevitably going to have millions of Aussie bogans pinning their hopes on him and will undoubtedly have to face a lynch mob in the future should he *gasp* be human and have an off day on the pitch.

Children are encouraged to idolise sports stars in this country, especially cricket and AFL players, rather than people who are actually doing decent things for society. Ask many Aussie kids what they want to be when they grow up and answers are commonly people such as “Ben Cousins”. Nobody ever says that they want to be an environmental activist, or a human rights activist, or anything that will actually benefit society. Why? – Because we live in an era of idiocy. People are dumbly and constantly tuned into whether or not a local team is winning, and without fail, these sports heroes are emblazoned across the papers; pronounced as heroes if they perform well, and denounced as social pariahs if they make a single mistake. The Australian public (in some cases sitting there with a beer gut and a resting heart rate of 96) is ignorant and unmerciful, and will jump at the chance to chide any sports star for making a fumble or missing a goal.

I sincerely hope that Ashton Agar has a good head on his shoulders and will be able to handle the disgusting treatment that he will have to endure now that he is a national star. For although he is currently hailed as the next big hero, he only needs to make one small mistake and the fierce and nasty media will topple him from his throne and into the thorny maws of public angst.