Something that really pisses me off is how a lot of people love to say “I’m so OCD” just because they like to have the stereo volume on an even number or some such. OK Firstly, you can’t “be” OCD. OCD is an abbreviation for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so saying “I’m so obsessive compulsive disorder” is the same as saying “I’m so cancer”. Also, wanting to have the stereo volume on an even number is not what having OCD is. I bet you don’t demand to know the volume level at every house, supermarket and nightclub that you happen to go to, just to check that it is even. Theoretically and grammatically, you are being a dick.

OCD is a really shitty-to-live-with disorder that only affects around 2% of the population, even though 70% of your Facebook newsfeed is full of people claiming they have it. “OMG I’m so OCD because I have to have all my CDs in alphabetical order!” No you fuckstain, that’s not being obsessive compulsive, that’s being organised. You’d do well as a filing clerk or a librarian, but you’re not super special so stop telling people you are. Think that having all your pens lined up on your desk makes you “so OCD”? Wrong. Think that ROYGBIV-ing your clothes makes you “so OCD”? Wrong again, dicksauce.

OCD usually has absolutely nothing to do with fastidious tidiness, and it’s a real insult to people that actually suffer from OCD when stupid idiots that want attention go on about how they have it.
Here’s what these people need to hear: You don’t have OCD. You just want people to think you’re all quirky, unique and cute like Zooey Deschanel. But you’re not. So fuck you.