I’ve been clubbing for a few years now and one thing is for certain – we all have a clubber personality. Sometimes it changes, sometimes it doesn’t. Any of the below types feel uncomfortably familiar? Probably because they are…hahaa…

Glitterati: Legs up to heaven and a Daisy Duck pout. Does a wonderful impression of a pony in stilettos. Totally unaware of any equine likeness. With her wavy mane and impossible makeup, may be aiming for unicorn territory.

Corporate Clubber: When the 9-to-5 feels the weekend arrive, it’s white collar to the dancefloor time. Sidenote: there’s plenty of great tutorials for getting red wine and cranberry juice out of business shirts.

Someone’s little brother / awkward guy from work: Starts the night awkwardly clutching rum-and-coke. No one quite knows how to flip the party animal switch. Finishes the night confidently clutching Miss Heaven-and-Pout. Again, no one quite knows how he flipped and switched into party animal mode. Least of all the Corporate Clubber.

I’m-friends-with-the-dj-girl: Name dropper extraordinare and dj booth lurker. Conversation is limited to one topic. I’ll give you one guess.

Wall hugger: Seemingly extremely fascinated by the texture of the wallpaper, and any invitation to move on the D Floor is met with “I don’t dance”.

I’m-fresh-from-a-breakup-and-friends-with-hard-liquor-girl/boy: Seemingly extremely fascinated by the taste of strong drinks, and any invitation to move on the D Floor is met with “of course I dance!” Although, judging by the moves, that could be the 6 vodkas, 3 champagnes and 4 ciders talking.

Ex-dj: one ear on conversation, one ear finely tuned to the track selection / sound quality / transitions of the dj playing. Can also be found murmuring “Oh! This track’s sampled (insert obscure obsolete song title here).”