Akika Says: Cocktail Etiquette

By Geisha Bar

The other night I had a night out with a few friends that work in bars (not in Perth) and throughout an evening of them venting about work and getting more and more hammered by the hour, I got a really good insight into the things that really grind their gears at work – and thought I’d share them!

So here are the top drinks that annoy my bartender friends:

1. “SURPRISE ME!” Okay, how about I pull out a water gun and spray you with vodka head to toe? Oh, sorry, you didn’t want a Molotov Cocktail? Well don’t tell us to fucking surprise you them. You’re over 18; you can choose your own drink – stop wasting our time and making us responsible for your decisions!

2. Long Island Iced Tea. 1982 called and it wants you back because Knight Rider is about to start. Not to mention Long Island Iced Teas take forever to make and are illegal in some places, due to the responsible serving of alcohol laws – so you might not even get a real one. Give it up. Long Island Iced Teas are over. Stop living in the past.

3. Mojito. Edward stickyhands. If the bar is super busy, and you hate the bartender, then order one of these.

4. Margarita. Salt-rimming glasses and shaking it up forever while other customers stare exasperatedly at you is death. Plus, margaritas are best paired with Mexican food. If you want margaritas, make a proper night of it – the Mexican restaurants LOVE doing up a ‘rita for you and your mates!

5. Manhattan, Old Fashioned, or Gimlet We get it. You’ve seen Mad Men. No; you’re not as hot as Don Draper. Yes; you’ll probably hate this drink. Ask your grandpa to make you one at Christmas instead.

6. Guinness. Are you clubbing or about to start a football riot?!

You know what you could order? Literally anything else! Better yet, check the cocktail list at your local club – they compile these lists because they are specialty drinks that the staff are amazing at rustlin’ up – and they love to experiment with new stuff!

Enjoy your first cocktail of 2018 my friends!

Love, Akika xoxoxoxoxooxox