Bet ya didn’t know I can read the stars, did ya? I stick to a very specific area called Party Projections. Read on to see what’s in store for your week!

Aries:
Even if weekdays suck, rams bring more bang for the buck. Who said “phone-a-friend benefits” are just for the weekend? Grab some of that all-about-that-bass and mix it with your trademark all-about-that-action. Serve it on the rocks for a night you might not remember, but will never forget.

Taurus:
Weekday slump brings out your inner meanie? The stars say get down and dirty in lace with vodka martinis. But seriously, we all know you love a bit of luxury. What happens late at night, stays late at night, right?

Gemini:
More fun than a pair of Scandinavian twins in a hotel suite, you know how to party. Stay true to your lifetime motto — “flirt, flirt, dance and trouble, moves that burn and cocktail bubble.”

Cancer:
Well seafood, given you’re a water sign, I’d say you’re right at home in liquids. Go on, crawl right in there. Tell the iceblocks I say hi. Being the class romantic, mix those drinks with a love story for ultimate bliss.

Leo:
I’d be lyin’ if I said you’re in for a quiet week. You’re the king of the jungle for a reason — now run along and act like it. Your followers await.

Virgo:
Virgo….your innocence doesn’t have anyone fooled. Although that white bikini can be cute sometimes. Like thrown on the bedroom floor. Loving to a fault — don’t forget Virgos need love too.

Libra:
Represented by the scales, you are characterised by the age old question “should I go out and get turnt up or stay in and chill down”. Take my advice my happy-go-lucky friend — go out! There’s lions and bulls and twins oh my!

Scorpio:
All hail the stinging tail! This week try leaving the biting tongue and resting bitch face at home. You might have more luck with that cute little blushing girl / nice-boy Virgo.

Sagittarius:
The archer aims for the stars in life – high flying job, extreme sports and that hot 10 at the bar. Shoot high, shoot true and take that 10 home with you.

Capricorn:
Do you long to be appreciated? It’s called social media for a reason! That shot of you at Geisha last weekend? Share it like a thousand-likes picture!

Aquarius:
The water bearer is practical to have around when drinks need to make it safely to the table. That’s right Aquarius, I’m looking at you. Take the opportunity this week to release your inner trendsetter — the reward will be all eyes on you.

Pisces:
The fish is a go-with-the-flow kind of kid. With a head full of secret dreams, it’s time to lead the charge and turn those fantasies into a never-forget reality. Hit up the Aries in your life — I hear they’re looking for a little fun.