27/10

Bet On These Hot Tips To Make Your Cup Day a Winner!

By Geisha Bar

Bet On These Hot Tips To Make Your Cup Day a Winner!

In recent years, horseracing hysteria has swept all the way across Australia to our sunny western shores. Next week, prepare to look on fleek on field, comment on the horses (even if My Little Ponies feel more familiar than thoroughbreds) and lap up a bubble bath worth of champagne.

Follow these tips to ensure a truly memorable Melbourne Cup day — but be warned, you won’t remember much.

• Party in style: Start early with champagne breakfast. Even better if you think just a couple of crackers are suitable food “to line the stomach”. Continue consuming champagne throughout the day…and night if you have the stamina.

• Inappropriate outfit: Yes to the beautiful-yet-hideously-painful 6 inch stilletos. Yes to the fascinator that looks like you have bird-of-paradise taxidermy perched on your head.

• Inattention to minor details of weather: Cold rain forecast? Who needs an umbrella! Blazing sunlight? Suncream is cheating!

• Amnesia on the subject of food: Just because you look forward to every meal like a child looks forward to Santa — that means nothing for this day. Food would just soak up precious champagne / vodka / beer anyway.

• Take lots of photos: you’ll need them to verify that yes, indeed, you had a roaring good time. But please, take my advice — if you drink and Instagram, you’re a bloody idiot.