29/09

Humans are an odd bunch

By Geisha Bar

Humans certainly are an odd bunch. This week our species has provided particularly confusing / amusing moments.

In Detroit, a man used his lighter to defend himself against a spider. This spider was crawling on the gas tank of the man’s car. Which was parked in a petrol station. Not surprisingly, both car and petrol pump leapt up in flames. The man barely managed to extinguish the fire. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. But then on the subject of shooting yourself — in New York, a man was caught by police publicly urinating. He tried to beat a hasty retreat, simultaneously ditching his illegal gun. In the process, the man shot himself in his own…weapon. Needless to say, the man was later arrested for weapons possession and reckless endangerment.

Keeping with the reckless theme, in India two policemen threw aside law-keeping duties when they started violently brawling in a market. Their slapping, shouting and dragging each other about by the collar attracted quite the crowd. They weren’t charged for their actions, but merely received a warning. Men in uniform really had a moment this week. At an undisclosed training base, a commando unit were practising drills. A detonation signalled the entry point of a building. The group hurried towards the gap, and the leader charged through valiantly. Second in line wasn’t quite so co-ordinated. He misjudged, smashed in to the wall next to the gap and knocked himself flat on his back. The overseeing instructor lost his customary commando cool as he was laughing so hard at the spectacle, he bent double.

At an unknown location, a woman has been videoed beating up her $100,000 Audi which was a gift from her husband. Her reasoning? “It is too small!” I suspect the next gift will be a bus ticket. She can take inspiration from a woman in China who missed her bus stop — showing great ingenuity by climbing out the window instead.