27/03

Procrastination & Pussy Riots…

By Geisha Bar

Why is it that we spend so much time delaying the inevitable? Things like doing our homework, paying our bills, or seeing our mothers. All of the things that need to be done eventually that we can somehow justify cleaning our rooms, washing our cars, washing our clothes, sorting old newspapers, washing our cats and pretty much doing anything we can think of, before we have to deal with the real task at hand.

I’m a terrible perpetrator of procrastination; I can’t do anything on time. This story is late, my uni work is late, hell I’m even late for something right now. I delay dates I don’t want to go on when I’m not keen on the guy simply to avoid the inevitable confrontation that is going to occur where I have to tell him that it’s not going to work and that I think it’s weird he spent a Friday night at the movies with his mother – true story.

Anyway, now that my room and bathroom have been cleaned and my laundry laundered, I’ve run out of reasons not to write this, so here we are. But it’s kind of funny because this in itself is just another form of procrastination for the uni work that I have to do. And before this, cleaning my room and doing my laundry was something I had been putting off for ages.

Procrastination is a terrible and vicious villain and it needs to be brought to justice! But hey, I’ll deal with that later… What I really wanted to talk about – and what I’m sure you’ve been on the edge of your seat waiting for during the past minute or so of dribble you’ve been reading – is Pussy Riot.

Yes! What is a Pussy Riot? How do I get one?? Where is the nearest outlet??! Well let’s not jump the gun, one does not simply walk into an outlet and find a pussy riot – but then again, the Pussy Riot might just find you. That is, if you’re in Russia. Pussy Riot is an all-girl Russian punk band with about ten hot bitches in balaclavas who stage illegal protests that usually involve an impromptu punk performance in a public space.

Their most recent stunt was to interrupt a service in an orthodox cathedral to perform on the altar their prayer song that is asking the blessed virgin for Vlad Putin to go away (they don’t like him – I’m not entirely sure why as discovering Russian politics will be a procrastination for another time). Anyway, Putin has arrested three of them for hooliganism and they could go to prison for 7 years. It’s pretty hectic. You can watch it here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALS92big4TY it’s great.

On a side note, I saw a photo of Putin hunting a tiger once (with a tranquilizer gun) in the jungle, and I died, it was pretty awesome, and by awesome I mean hot. I always thought he was super world-leader-guy but these ladies think he’s worse than procrastination and Friday nights at the movies with your mother. Go figure.