By Geisha Bar

Holy shit.

A couple of days ago I made the absolute best ever goddamn purchase with my cash moneyz that I have ever made in my life.

I was casually perusing the wares at Bunnings, merrily dreaming up my next DIY/décor project. My tummy was happily full of Bunnings snag, with the promise of more to come after a successful shopping expedition. Life was good. Life was *better* than good, in fact – it was grand.

After the obligatory meander through the kitchen and bathroom setups with my man friend, discussing our perfect someday kitchen and bemoaning all the things severely morally and otherwise wrong with lime green glass splashbacks, things took a turn for the unexpected.

Never one to turn down a good over-linger in the “lighting solutions” aisles, I spent a long time poring over the various floor lamps. I simply couldn’t wait to show the boyf this awesome huge bamboo decorative floor lamp (which I suspect was for “outdoor living” but fuck it because it’s perfect for my “post-WWII Hawaii meets atomic age” dream home) when I noticed that he was taking his damn time at the other end of the aisle.

After meowing loudly at him to no avail, I gave up and went to see what he was looking at. Smart lights? What’s this?

An hour and $115 later we were at home, excitedly fitting two LED bulbs to some lampshades. I was pure frothing at the mouth. Shit was gonna get real tasty. And tasty it got! The bedroom was suddenly awash in glows of purples, blues, greens, yellows, mints, reds, oranges, pinks – every colour of the wheel. All you had to do was point the remote and select your colour on the colour wheel, select the intensity, whether you wanted warm or cool, all manner of things. There were modes for sunsets (cycling through all the warm colours), ocean (the blues and greens), even a mode that simulates the flickering of fire.

It’s been a couple of days now and I haven’t left this room. It’s like my own personal rave, where it’s just me, Darude, and my disco lights.

A+++++++ I highly recommend smart lights for everyone who likes a casual rave at home.