I was watching the Sex and the City movie today. You know, the one with that horrible person who wears a bird on her head to her wedding and then further pollutes our oceans by throwing her mobile phone into the sea, and who also has a super racist friend who won’t eat or drink anything in a 5-star resort BECAUSE IT’S MEXICO? Yeah that’s the one. It’s a turd rolled in glitter and yet here I am, still watching it. I hate myself.

Anyway.

There’s a New Year’s Eve scene with a cover of our favourite midnight slur-along ditty, Auld Lang Syne. And I realised I never even bothered to learn what the song means! So, I did some investigative journalism (drunken Googling), to find out. Turns out that the song is a poem written by famed Scotsman Robbie Burns, in 1788, and the worlds “auld lang syne” translate to “old long since” – meaning, in their weird ye olde time ways, “days gone by.” Mystery solved – you are singing about the year you have just had and filling your cup whilst you do so – which makes this a highly appropriate NYE banger, tbh. Just remember to think of that drunk poet Robbie Burns as you take a “cup of kindness”.

And then of course after all those cups of kindness and the hangover of hatefulness, comes the time for resolutions! Wellness! 2020 come at me! New year new me! Anything is possible. If Khloe Kardashian can do it, so can you hun. It’s time to be your best self and swear that you’ll finally do all that shit you never manage to do every year. I, for one, will probably end up watching the Sex and the City movie again, at the same time next year. Some bitches never change.

Love for ALL the days gone by, Akika xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo