14/01

Oh Kanye

By Geisha Bar

It would appear that you are yet again in trouble.

It was confirmed by LA police that Kanye West is a prime suspect in an assault on an 18 year old boy in Beverly Hills.

The boy was yelling racist remarks at reporters in the defense of Kim Kardashian (Kanye’s girlfriend) to the tune of “Fuck these faggot-ass niggers”. Kardashian told him to shut the hell up and not use the “n” word, to which the boy responded, “Fuck you, bitch – just trying to help you. Shut up nigger-lover, stupid slut”.

Immediately Kardashian’s people got on the phone to Kanye’s people, and he turned up to start punching on with the angsty teen. A massage therapist had to break up the fight, sadly, but it would have been solid gold to see an 18 year old punk beat the shit out of Kanye in front of a dozen reporters.

If charges are pressed, then Kim and Kanye might have to put what I’m sure will be the classiest wedding of the decade on hold, and this could indeed be a global catastrophe.

In other ludicrous Kanye news, there has now been a book written bout him, and his “cultural impact”. The book, “The Cultural Impact Of Kanye West”, is filled with such amazing turdburgers as “the moral and social implications of West’s words, images, and music in the broader context of Western civilization’s preconceived ideas, the contributors consider how West both challenges religious and moral norms and propagates them”. So you should probably get down to a bookstore near you immediately – run, don’t walk.