Fine fast dining has given me “munch munch” food for thought over the past month and the star attraction has been that Subi landmark that has taken Asian fusion to the fast food consuming masses. This fashionable establishment serves decent enough grub; a sort of Oriental Mc-Hungry-KFC but sadly lacks the brutally efficient service these other brands are renowned for.

Perth is world famous for its hopelessly inadequate service standards but the number of comical blunders I have endured at “xxxx” in just 4 visits would make Basil Fawlty a silver service king and have Ramsey lost for four letter words.

Incident one….Sitting in the outdoor section we waited 20 minutes for someone to come and take our order whilst in full view of numerous staff. Finally after being “polite” for far too long I went inside and asked if someone could come and serve us. The answer “The outdoor section isn’t open so we didn’t come and take your order” I know what you are thinking, why didn’t someone come and tell us? Obviously it isn’t part of their job description and they couldn’t be stuffed. Clearly I should have realised the section was close when I saw all the tables were set for dining.

Incident two….I rang to order takeaway and was told they had no takeaway containers

Incident three..I rang to order takeaway which I wanted to pick up in an hour (after a meeting) and was told “We can’t do that unless you ring up 15 minutes before you want it because we are busy and if I put the order in the kitchen they will probably forget it so I can’t guarantee it will be there for you” ….it must be an attention span thing

Incident four…and I am sure you are wondering why am still trying…I ring up to order my takeaway and before I’d requested anything the voice on the other end informed me they had, wait for it, NO FOOD…I asked 3 times just to make sure I wasn’t hearing things or to alleviate any translation problems but alas it was true….NO FOOD

“Positive Eating + Positive Living” obviously doesn’t include positive service but they did win an award for best restaurant website. I just suspect the tail might be “wagamama-ing”