It is becoming abundantly clear to me that I am a woman who doesn’t know how to say no to a person.

It takes a certain logic based on small reasoning.

For an explanatory example, I am going to use the woman from the video clip for the Whisper Song by The Ying Yang Twins. If you haven’t seen/heard it yet and if you can find an uncut version on YouTube, I strongly suggest that you have a meaningful look and listen.

You’ll know you have the right video because the twins, in black suits and sunnies, are whispering things like “wait till you see my dick” and “beat the pussy all night” into a young and attractive woman’s ear before she dances in knee high boots in the headlights of their Porsche convertible.

I imagine this particular woman’s reasoning, when her publicist played her the song and pitched her the job, in her mind went something along the lines of ‘oh hell no! how could anyone be expected to do th… but what if it’s my big break… y’know  people are into this kind of thing, maybe the song will go viral… maybe I’ll finally be famous… ohhh but shit, what would my mamma say… I guess she doesn’t know the youtubes or the MTVs… aaand someone is going to have to do it, I might as well get the benefits…’

So she tells her publicist “OK, I’ll do it.”

And next thing she knows she’s shooting this video clip in her underwear with these two horrible guys and their sparkly grills all up in her ear saying all manner of nasty things while part of her dies and she wishes she had just said no.

This probably isn’t the best example for what I’m trying to say; I’m not eluding that should someone come to me with the same offer that I would struggle to say no. But I am trying to say that there are women out there, like myself, who despite the obvious response of ‘no’ that should be given, somehow reason things into an ok.

For me, it’s going on a date with someone I’m not into. I’ve been on plenty. They’re usually a low point for me.

I couldn’t say no to the creepy 40 year old guy from my local who actually made a rap song about me and gave it to me on a CD.

‘Dear god, what kind of a grown man does this. But he did just go to all this effort for me, how can I say no to that? And he’s really scary looking, I don’t want to get on his bad side… ok, I’ll do it.’

And most recently I couldn’t say no to a second date with a man whom I have nothing in common with and endured an initial six hour date of open and close conversations about [insert any inane topic here].

‘um, I guess just meeting up for a drink is ok, after all, he did pay for everything on the first date and seems pretty nice… ok’

Despite how much I might not want to go on a date with a person, I’d rather endure it than say ‘no’ to them than risk hurting anyone’s feelings – in itself entirely unreasonable.

At the end of the day, what I’m really trying to say here is that whoever said that reasoning is a good thing was clearly entirely misguided