Akika says: Game of Thrones Season Recap

By Geisha Bar

Wowee team! It’s time for the return of everyone’s favourite hit TV show, Game of Thrones.

I’ve been eager to rush home and congregate with my friends in the lounge to see what Targaryen, Snow, Cersei and that loveable gang are up to this season. It’s been awhile since the previous season, and I might have seen a lot of it while drunk, so I’m going to do my best to summarise the last season so that we’re all on the same page going into the show fresh.
The last time we saw her, Cersei was on the run from Hank Schader, because he had found out that she was selling meth, but also because she had stolen one of his favourite minerals – the purple one, which he had bought to remind him of his wife Marie.

Synthia Stark quit her job as a chemistry teacher and is now secretly working alongside her sister-in-law Cersei making meth, which has taken Kings Landing by storm, and she has also lost a lot of weight from sampling a bit much of the product. She’s barely recognizable, but that’s also because they brought in a new actress to play the character (more on this as the season unfolds).

A very exciting twist of events is that Tyrion Lannister has just been accepted onto the new season of Survivor. It’s what he has been working towards his whole life, and he simply cannot wait to outwit, outplay and outlast. Rumour has it that the Survivor cast also includes Jonathan Snow, Karl Drongo, Wolf #2 and Mr. Finger.

The guy with the one hand who wears a fancy silver glove to hide his disability has announced his intentions to run for President of The Realm. He wants to make Kings Landing great again, and has some serious intentions to extend the large white wall to keep out those darned Mexicans.

Daenerys Targaryen was shown spending her first day in prison after turning herself in for transporting some drug money across a border for her lesbian lover, who she has just discovered is in the same jail. Their eyes locked across a crowded prison cafeteria and you could cut the tension with a knife. (Will they or won’t they?)

So buckle up, tune in and get your popcorn ready folks because this season of Game of Thrones is going to be jam-packed with all the excitement that television has to offer!

Love, Akika xoxoxoxoxoox

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