Akika Says

12/12

SICK INK M888888888

By Geisha Bar
akika
Here in Perth we are definitely no strangers to a good ol’ tatt. “Sick ink!” is a common phrase uttered by the constituents of our bogan state, as we admire our mate’s fresh new tattoo straight outta Kuta. I think you can tell a lot about a person by certain things – their shoes, their...
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05/12

FLYING HIGH

By Geisha Bar
Travel-4
With the holiday season usually comes the flying out of the country season. Flying can be great (cough Xanax) but it can also be awful. Here is my advice for trying to get the most peaceful flight you can!   If you are forced to sit next to a stranger due to crowding/allocated seating...
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28/11

Bring Back My Girls

By Geisha Bar
rupaul2
Holy shit so I only just discovered RuPaul’s Drag Race (I’ve been busy, OK?). WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE? Usually I don’t get amongst reality TV shows because, well, my reality is just way more exciting. But I’ve recently had a wee bit of time off, so I thought I’d see what all...
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14/11

ADVERTISING SUXXXX

By Geisha Bar
ad.145134
Everywhere I look now I see food with packaging claiming to be super healthy and all-natural and full of “essential fatty acid Omega 3s which are good for your brain!” (Note: there is no science that proves that omega 3s do anything whatsoever to improve your brain). One thing I’ve noticed...
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06/11

akika
Freeing yourself from the shackles of whatever currently ails you has got to be a top three great feeling. However, whether it’s a miserable job, an unhappy relationship or a deep sense of dissatisfaction with some aspect of yourself, there are some among us who spend years and years allowing our...
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31/10

lying
My friend Matty has just told me some alarming yet hilarious news – he has to meet his girlfriend Amy’s parents for the first time ever – and they are fundamentalist Christians. Now, let’s start by saying a giant “no disrespect to the Christians out there!” If you have a personal...
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24/10

#METOO

By Geisha Bar
metoo
Awakening to a flurry of Facebook statuses of #metoo, I was initially confused. Was this one of those annoying games where lame women copy/paste some godawful “sisterly” message to each other’s inboxes, encouraging them to post a status of some cryptic shit (about where they like to leave...
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17/10

SMART MOVE

By Geisha Bar
lights
Holy shit. A couple of days ago I made the absolute best ever goddamn purchase with my cash moneyz that I have ever made in my life. I was casually perusing the wares at Bunnings, merrily dreaming up my next DIY/décor project. My tummy was happily full of Bunnings snag, with the promise of...
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11/10

Dic Pic Blunder

By Geisha Bar
dicpick.170227
I got sent a dick pic today. It was by mistake – I didn’t know the discerning chap at all, so I think he must have messed up his mobile numbers. It was flaccid. WHAT OK a) Don’t send a dick pic. Not even if the recipient is begging for one! It is not a marker of timeless elegance, and...
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03/10

Perth-Royal-Show-Fireworks-2014-a.
It seems the Perth Royal Show is going down the gurgler, with its third consecutive year suffering a multi-million dollar loss. The decline began when they started charging children under 12 years of age ticket entry, which of course means that the main demographic of show-goers (bogan families...
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