Akika Says

16/07

Mystery Fizz

By Geisha Bar
Machine
I feel like I'm always the last to know these things, but I just learned that there has been a mystery ancient Coke vending machine in Seattle for years that dispenses cans of fizzy, but YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING. What's more, is that most of the cans of fizzy that the machine...
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09/07

rain_party
I get it, it's winter, it rains-obviously. It's like the second winter hits, and the weather changes, everyone existing in Perth feels it is obligatory to start off their small talk with their mates, colleagues and anyone who will fucking listen-complaining about the weather. It seems we forget how...
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02/07

WITH BELLS ON

By Geisha Bar
blackpool_2012-dirty+dancing+book+ps+1500+8
Was there ever a social occasion more tentatively awkward than the hen's night or stag's night? You've got a person who is getting married, and you're surrounding them with all the same-sex various non-overlapping Venn diagrams of their life. There's the family members, there's the in-law family...
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11/06

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Today I learned that there is a pub that is in 2 different countries! The Kalin Tavern straddles the Slovenia-Croatia border, so you can have a drink standing in two separate countries if you have your feet on either side of the green line that traverses the floor, marking the border. The...
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04/06

0 Darts 2 Furious

By Geisha Bar
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I used to love my darts. Absolutely adored them – if you have ever been outside Geisha or Ambar between the hours of 12pm and 3am, then I no doubt would have asked you for a lighter, or even just struck up a conversation with you (because I always referred to myself as a "social smoker", haha!) I...
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28/05

The Gambler

By Geisha Bar
akika
Today is my friend Kylie’s birthday, which means that it is exactly three years to the day since my strange one night stand with a boy I will refer to as “Kenny Rogers”. I can’t believe I haven’t told you friends this story before. It’s a bit personal, it’s a bit sexy, but most of...
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21/05

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The final of Game of Thrones is upon us this week and I am sad. (SPOILER ALERT; do not continue if you are not up to scratch on this show).   It’s sad that a show I’ve enjoyed for years is coming to an end. It’s sad that everyone is currently ripping the shit out of it. It’s...
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14/05

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Hilariously, the Australian Reserve Bank is hiding shamefaced from the public for awhile, after a patriotic (and detail oriented, obviously!) ‘Strayan sent Triple M a photo of the new $50 note, released in October last year. The word “responsibility” was missing the third i, instead being...
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07/05

Oh mi goreng

By Geisha Bar
malaysian-chicken-mee-goreng-49049-2
Just when you thought you had turned your back on carbs, a true hero emerges strong to win back your heart. That's right. Someone has created a delicacy that is pure carb-on-carb gone wild, to fulfil all your filthy carb desires. For a casual $9.50 at The Dutch Smuggler, a café in Sydney, you can...
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30/04

On your bike

By Geisha Bar
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What's with all the hating on cyclists? Last week, a 31-year-old cyclist in Perth was rushed to hospital after being shot in the leg with an arrow. A motherfucking arrow. Like a scene out of Game of Thrones. WTF?! The cyclist was riding down Sturtridge Road in Lockridge around 9.40pm on...
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23/04

notre-dame-paris-big-bus-tours-jan-2017
Okay. So the Notre Dame cathedral burning is absolutely terrible, and it's definitely sad that such a historic landmark has been dealt this blow. However. HOWEVER. 600 million Euro donated within 24 hours for restoration? 600 million. By just two wealthy families. The city of Paris also...
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16/04

Fill me in

By Geisha Bar
becoming-a-plastic-surgeon-1
In a somewhat sad as fuck turn of events, teenagers as young as 15 years old have been flocking to cosmetic surgeons in search of lip fillers and Botox. Dr. Glenn Murray at the Absolute Cosmetic Medicine reported at least one cosmetic procedure request each week from someone under 18. It must be...
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09/04

akika
So apparently the quarter-life crisis is a Real Thing. And I think I've been having one! What am I going to do with my life? How will I know if I'm on the right path? Will I ever be able to afford to buy a house? What skincare routine should I be using now? Next decade? Will I age gracefully?...
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02/04

Gotta be in to win

By Geisha Bar
Man-buys-600-worth-of-lottery-tickets-wins-10000
They say lightning doesn't strike twice, but last week, a Melbourne man struck it hella lucky He accidentally bought the same Lotto ticket twice – and won, to the tune of 46 MILLION DOLLARS. According to the Daily Mail, the man chooses his own Lotto numbers every week, but they aren't based on...
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26/03

You are great.

By Geisha Bar
Gatsby-Champagne-e1495477650429
The other day, my friend got her driver’s licence. Instead of feeling over the moon about it, she felt like a failure. The reason? She’s 31. This is something that happens a lot – when people accomplish something a bit later than the “usual” timeframe, they beat themselves up about it....
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19/03

Love the neighbours

By Geisha Bar
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Late last week, our neighbours over in New Zealand experienced a very dark day, at the hands of an Australian man. I’m talking of course, about the Christchurch massacre. 49 people were killed at two mosques, gunned down by an Islamophobic terrorist. A further 48 were wounded, and the killer...
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12/03

Akika
I was but an early primary school youth when the single Breathe came out, yet nonetheless I was taken with it immediately - I hadn't heard anything like it on the radio in amongst all the Spice Girls and Robbie Williams at the time. When the Smack My Bitch Up music video came out, my older brother...
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05/03

Micromanagement

By Geisha Bar
akika
Fellas, would you lie to your lady about your size? Ladies, would you marry a guy before even knowing what he's packing? Now I'm no size snob, but if I'm going to be honest, I really do have a minimum amount of dick that I consider necessary in order to have a relationship. And that's not a...
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26/02

Accidental Running

By Geisha Bar
akika
You know how Fat Amy in Pitch Perfect does "horizontal running"? Well recently I found myself doing what I like to call "accidental running." 
I've never been a runner, ever – even at the height of my school-sports-every-day fitness, I still declared that I "couldn't run." Running was...
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19/02

Akika
Here in Western Australia, it looks like there is an increasing distance forming between some in the vegan and non-vegan communities. A video has emerged of Jason Parravacini, a farmer brandishing a shotgun at some outspoken vegans who were filming his cattle. It's believed that this altercation...
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