By Geisha Bar

Can we please talk about Taylor Swift’s new single “Reputation” for a second?

What the actual fuck.

“Reputation” sounds like a 17-year-old has broken up with her boyfriend, the one that she lost her virginity to, and is trying to have the last word. Look out guys, the old sweet Taylor is dead. Look what you made her do. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE HER DO! Now she’s going to be all sexy and evil and crazy and shit. Wooooooo. Scary stuff.

Taylor’s clearly trying to unleash a brand-new style and sound, however what she’s doing on this track isn’t even singing – she’s just trying to sexily bark words over a shitty 4/4 beat. It sounds like something Britney would have used as an album filler track back in her Toxic days, but one that she would have been secretly ashamed of at the same time.

She spends a few lines alluding to Katy Perry and/or Kanye West (“I don’t like your tilted stage” – both singers use a tilted stage on tour) before this bit of dribble possibly written by an angsty 12 year old: “But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time/Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time/I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined/I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!”

How very Santa Claus of you, Taylor.

One good thing about the single is that the internet illuminati conspiracy circle jerkers are going to have a banquet over this bad boy. We’ve got Taylor declaring herself dead via voicemail message, snakes galore, and all sorts of ridiculous lines enshrouded in double entendre. I can’t wait to see the video and the illuminato posts that ensue!

Still, though, the people of the world have proven themselves once again, with the country singer-turned-trashbot’s original lyric video hitting a record of 19 million views in 24 hours. But still. No thanks, Taylor.

Image Source: Screen capture from YouTube Video “Look What You Made Me Do” By Taylor Swift.