Any Hole Is A Goal

By Geisha Bar

Have you ever found yourself in a YouTube hole? It’s like a K-hole, but you might (or might not) learn more stuff.

You have probably been in the YouTube hole many times without realising it had a name. It starts off innocently enough – you’re watching a quick video about how to assemble the stand for your new TV. Suddenly, your eyes catch the “suggested” video list to the right. Atop it sits something interesting – a TED talk about the psychology of DIY. While watching that, you see another TED talk in the suggestion list – “Everything You Know About Addiction Is Wrong”. Well, that seems like an interesting watch, so you give it a go. Immediately after that, you find yourself watching “Catnip Addicts – Cats On Drugs”, then “Do TIGERS Like Catnip?” then “Cow Asks Man To Rescue Her Newborn Calf” (since when could cows speak?) Next comes “How To Get Rid Of An Annoying Neighbour With A Crayon” (Is it the neighbour that has a crayon, or is the crayon the weapon with which you get rid of them? – I have questions). Then you get “Grandpa Finds A Weird String In His Old Attic Wall Then Pulls It To Reveal Hidden Family Secret”. By this point you know it’s all over. Defeated, you reach for the M&Ms that you have stashed in your drawer you dirty little chocolate slut, and you settle in for the night, resigned to the fact that yet another night of your life will be lost to a YouTube hole.

It’s not all bad news, though. The best part of a YouTube hole is that you never know where it will lead. Will I end up watching videos of people reviewing fast food in their cars? Will I find myself watching the “Animal Face-Off: Anaconda vs. Jaguar” video (yet again)? Or will it be clips of isolated vocals of famous singers? All I can say is that once I ended up watching a live birth. It was horrific and it took me a long time to go back on YouTube. I kept insisting that people embed videos in messages to me so that I wouldn’t get myself lost in YouTube accidentally. Anyway, that incident is behind me now and I’m much stronger so without further ado I must sign off so that I can enjoy some YouTubing instead of going to uni. I’ve just seen “What’s The Deepest Hole We Can Possibly Dig?” pop up on my screen and I wanna know if the answer is a YouTube hole.

Love, Akika xoxoxoxoxoxox