Just when we thought you couldn’t find bigger cheerleaders for meth than the Armadale train line community, here comes New Zealand.

Massey High School in Auckland has just been raked over the glass barbeque for distributing a pamphlet to students advising them how to use meth properly and safely. Parents were up in arms. The outraged self-righteous comments began to fly all over the place. Demands for the principal’s head on a platter began to surface.

As per usual, the media took something COMPLETELY out of context, and Massey High was the most recent victim. Principal Glen Denham, a former pro basketballer, set the record straight, telling press that it was “only two pages out of 25 – among over 600 resources that were available to the kids. The parents took it out of context.”

The students were in a health class and had been assigned to analyse the negative effects of meth use among 15-24 year olds. The pamphlet in question is available online as part of a NZ Drug Foundation programme, funded by the Ministry of Health. The Drug Foundation have applauded Massey High’s use of the pamphlet, stating that people are “living under a rock” (pun accidental but still hilarious) if they don’t think there is a meth problem in NZ.

The offending material, which is available at drughelp.org.nz, features the following 10 “keeping well” tips for using meth:

1. When taking meth, eat something every 4 or 5 hours; drink more water than normal; and if you’ve been awake longer than 24 hours, have a break.

2. Brush your teeth after eating food or drinking sweet drinks.

3. You can’t sleep on meth; if you want to sleep later don’t use it after 3pm.

4. Avoid mixing meth with other drugs or medications, especially hallucinogens and antidepressants. It’s hard to predict how one affects another in your system.

5. Protect yourself from HIV and STIs. Meth can make you really sexual and a bigger risk taker at the same time.

6. Swallowing meth allows your body to use its own filters. It saves your lungs from damage, produces a smoother and longer lasting high, and you’re less likely to use more.

7. If using a glass pipe, clean the inside regularly to remove burnt residue which could be inhaled.

8. Glass pipes become brittle and get damn hot. Be careful with it to avoid burns or cuts, and use a Pyrex pipe is possible.

9. Injecting meth is risky. It requires experience to reduce the chance of abscesses, collapsed veins, and infections like Hepatitis C of HIV. If you plan to inject, always use a new needle and never share any equipment.

10. Meth is illegal. It’s also illegal to own a pipe. Be discreet and only keep less than 5 grams for personal use.

I personally think that the media needs to stfu and stop sensationalising every tiny thing that some bogan parent gets outraged about. Fuck you, media.

Love, Akika xoxoxoxoxoox