Silly or Single Season
Do you usually get through your Christmas period with little stress? If so, you’re lucky! Significant numbers of people report feeling higher levels of stress over the holidays than throughout the rest of the year, and one area this takes its toll on is the old love life.
I was shocked to learn that January is the most popular time of year for divorce!
In the UK, January is now regarded as the ultimate month for divorce filing to spike – the first working day is now even known as ‘Divorce Day’ because law firms there receive so many enquiries.
So it seems that a lot of people decide over the Christmas holidays that they just can’t do it anymore, and it’s likely due to the added stress. Being on holiday means that you may be spending a lot more time with your partner than usual, and for some, this can be an unwelcome interruption to routine. Imagine if you were in a FIFO relationship and had gotten used to having large patches of your own time to yourself. Then suddenly, your FIFO partner got a job back home, and were now under your feet at home every night. You’d feel robbed of your alone time, right? I feel like that might be the case over holidays for some people, too.
If there are problems in the relationship, this focused time at home together may be the catalyst that highlights any issues – and this could lead to a make or break status for the couple. Not to mention an upsurge in time being forced to spend with relatives, which may drive a wedge further between you. It’s no secret that most of us do not want to give up our very rare days off work to spend time with in-laws, having to put in a lot of emotionally draining “acting”.
Sometimes, there is a huge disparity in Christmas expectations, whereby one partner just wants to chill out, make life easy, and enjoy their time off work, whereas the other is a Christmas demon who considers a Christmas lunch with fewer than 8 salads a catastrophe. This means that the Christmas demon is going to shoulder all the workload, whilst resenting the chilled-out partner, which is going to lead to huge issues. Plus, all the extra partying over that week is a breeding ground for cheating, so sometimes things can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, so to speak.
So just look after yourself and your relationship over the silly season – and listen to your partner if they say they are stressed! Would it really be that hard to cut back on in-law time, or kitchen duties? Be kind to each other!
Love, Akika xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox