Akika Says

21/03

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Yesterday my sister-in-law and I popped down to the pub to see my brother, who had just finished playing in a golf tournament with a few friends – including my ex, who I am still technically married to, but have been separated from for about ten years (we got married SUPER young, far too young to...
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13/03

Tinder
As a single person of the female persuasion, I decided to give this whole Tinder thing a whirl. The whole thing started out somewhat innocently; I naively thought that it would be the best place to meet other single people, and so armed with some deceptive pseudo-attractively “well-lit” and...
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07/03

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Now that the last days of summer have departed, leaving many of us wistfully gazing at photos from our summer shenanigans, we are left wondering … what now? It’s no secret that winter encourages the “Solo Netflix and Chill” monster lurking within us, therefore it’s now more than ever...
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27/02

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So, you have yourself a lifelong BFF. And then your BFF meets herself a new, more sexually-satisfying bae. And then those two motherfucking baes go off into the romantic sunset and suddenly you’re the fat cunt sharing a bucket of KFC with precisely nobody and watching reruns of The OC laughing by...
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20/02

Mill Love
It seems that everywhere you turn there is a new headline along the lines of “Tinder Has Ruined Romance”, “Hookup Culture Has Replaced True Love”, or “Millennials: All They Want To Do Is Fuck and Run Because Love is Too Scary”. Yes offense to mainstream media, but I definitely do...
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13/02

EOD Checklist
HOW TO BEHAVE IN A CLUB!! It’s odd that there are so many people out there who do these things – but still, we live in a pretty varied world full of all sorts of people, who may or may not grasp the basics of social partying etiquette. So here is my personal guide to the “don’ts” of...
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06/02

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So, your friend just ended their relationship and is feeling like the world’s biggest misery guts – but this shouldn’t be any reason to let the party vibe get swept under the rug! Keeping one’s zest for life is the most important part of any break-up recovery ….. so, as the loyal and...
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30/01

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As it turns out, not all hangovers are created equal – some people are genetically predisposed to be struck with worse hangovers than others, and this is probably why you wake up feeling like Edward Scissorhands is massaging your temples, while your stupid smug mate is off at Crossfit or some...
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24/01

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1. The Long-Lost Kardashian Sister. Yep, you’d better believe this jizzrag has an alarming array of bodycon dresses in every shade of brown and off-white. Sucking back a gallon of vodka-soda-with-fresh-lime, she arms herself with several thousand Lip Kits (not to worry, her handbag is bigger...
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17/01

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Recently when I was procrastinating an assignment, I hilariously found myself reading articles about procrastination – in the name of desperately trying to find a way to stop procrastinating. Ridiculous, right? But then I stumbled upon a very clever 3-part blog post on procrastination by a dude...
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