Akika Says



By Geisha Bar
Everywhere I look now I see food with packaging claiming to be super healthy and all-natural and full of “essential fatty acid Omega 3s which are good for your brain!” (Note: there is no science that proves that omega 3s do anything whatsoever to improve your brain). One thing I’ve noticed...
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Freeing yourself from the shackles of whatever currently ails you has got to be a top three great feeling. However, whether it’s a miserable job, an unhappy relationship or a deep sense of dissatisfaction with some aspect of yourself, there are some among us who spend years and years allowing our...
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My friend Matty has just told me some alarming yet hilarious news – he has to meet his girlfriend Amy’s parents for the first time ever – and they are fundamentalist Christians. Now, let’s start by saying a giant “no disrespect to the Christians out there!” If you have a personal...
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By Geisha Bar
Awakening to a flurry of Facebook statuses of #metoo, I was initially confused. Was this one of those annoying games where lame women copy/paste some godawful “sisterly” message to each other’s inboxes, encouraging them to post a status of some cryptic shit (about where they like to leave...
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By Geisha Bar
Holy shit. A couple of days ago I made the absolute best ever goddamn purchase with my cash moneyz that I have ever made in my life. I was casually perusing the wares at Bunnings, merrily dreaming up my next DIY/décor project. My tummy was happily full of Bunnings snag, with the promise of...
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Dic Pic Blunder

By Geisha Bar
I got sent a dick pic today. It was by mistake – I didn’t know the discerning chap at all, so I think he must have messed up his mobile numbers. It was flaccid. WHAT OK a) Don’t send a dick pic. Not even if the recipient is begging for one! It is not a marker of timeless elegance, and...
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It seems the Perth Royal Show is going down the gurgler, with its third consecutive year suffering a multi-million dollar loss. The decline began when they started charging children under 12 years of age ticket entry, which of course means that the main demographic of show-goers (bogan families...
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In light of the recent power outage to some 15, 000 homes in the Perth metropolitan area, I couldn’t help but think back to the time my bestie had a power cut – or rather, she put too much cheese on her cheese sandwich, which exploded a little, shorting out the microwave, which cut all the...
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Last week the world lost a very dear friend. Cassini-Huygens, born in 1982, was the lovechild of the European Space Agency, the Italian Space Agency, and NASA. A combination of NASA’s Cassini probe and ESA’s Huygens lander, she weighed about 2500 kilograms, and measured about two metres tall...
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Winking dog
They’re our best, most faithful and sweetest mates. No, I’m not talking about the bar staff at Geisha – I’m talking about dogs, a.k.a puppers, doggos, doggers, and hounds. And so many of us would be totally lost without them! They are our everything, our baes, our sweet children and our...
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