Akika Says


Last week the world lost a very dear friend. Cassini-Huygens, born in 1982, was the lovechild of the European Space Agency, the Italian Space Agency, and NASA. A combination of NASA’s Cassini probe and ESA’s Huygens lander, she weighed about 2500 kilograms, and measured about two metres tall...
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Winking dog
They’re our best, most faithful and sweetest mates. No, I’m not talking about the bar staff at Geisha – I’m talking about dogs, a.k.a puppers, doggos, doggers, and hounds. And so many of us would be totally lost without them! They are our everything, our baes, our sweet children and our...
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Australia Day weekend, finishing with Andy C at Metros. It’s an annual bender that we should all have marked in our diaries. Blazing Swan - Where all the free-spirited people who cannot afford the time off and flights to Burning Man go to simulate a Burning Man experience in our own backyard....
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Can we please talk about Taylor Swift’s new single “Reputation” for a second? What the actual fuck. “Reputation” sounds like a 17-year-old has broken up with her boyfriend, the one that she lost her virginity to, and is trying to have the last word. Look out guys, the old sweet...
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1. Next time you’re out and about shopping, buy a shitload of cards, preferably blank ones. But of course, if you have hilarious friends, don’t be afraid to buy ones designed for specific purposes such as “happy anniversary to my darling wife” etc. Buy about $5 worth of stamps at the same...
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There’s a lot happening in the world right now. It’s feeling like one of those dark weeks where it’s very easy to become overwhelmed by all the hatred and lack of tolerance that humans are showing each other. The tedious and tired battle is still being waged in this country for gay...
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A friend of mine passed away a few years ago, and with my usual logic blinded by grief, I did what any standard mourner would do and booked an appointment to see a medium. Walking into her spiritual lair, I immediately noticed the tacky abundance of quartz crystals (when will people understand that...
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Akika says: Suxism

By Geisha Bar
“Some middle-aged man, a perfect stranger, approached me in Dymocks and watched me tossing up between a book by Elon Musk and one by Prof. Brian Cox, and remarked, "are you sure you'll be able to understand those? Hurhurhur." It seems I must have wandered off from the Domestic Violence Disguised...
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Today I read that a five-year-old girl in the UK has been fined £150 (about 195 Aussie dollars) for selling lemonade from a roadside lemonade stall that her father helped her set up. Of course, this is ridiculous and everyone is outraged, because the times have changed so much so that nothing is...
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Wowee team! It’s time for the return of everyone’s favourite hit TV show, Game of Thrones. I’ve been eager to rush home and congregate with my friends in the lounge to see what Targaryen, Snow, Cersei and that loveable gang are up to this season. It’s been awhile since the previous...
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